Why?
I thought this would be an easy one to write. It’s the most asked question by far: why do you do it? Why do I put myself through this even though the foresight of all the training already makes my legs ache? Why do I do it even though I already know that the day itself is going to hurt like hell? And why in the world would you want to write about it as well?
These questions ended up being way more complex to answer than I thought. So much so that this kept me busy for the whole week. But while typing this I realise that’s the answer to at least one of the questions: Why do I write about running? Writing helps me keeps my thoughts in order. It gives me something to think about when I run, a problem to detangle if you will. And I just like making stuff. Committing to a small project like this and creating a bit of writing that I can look back at gives me way more satisfaction than consuming YouTube all day. And maybe there’s even some people that actually read my writing and want to tag along, even better! It’s also a lot less daunting than writing about the serious things in life. I’ve literally rewritten drafts about why I write for at least 3 years now and I still haven’t published it. Maybe one day I’ll have the guts to actually publish something like that.
As for the more physical part of the question: There’s not just one answer.
The most superficial reason is that I want my revenge. As I wrote in the previous piece I already tried Rotterdam a couple years ago. Although I’ve done a full marathon since then I still feel like I have a score to settle. It’s the one marathon I’ve wanted to run for as long as I can remember. Hopefully this April it will finally give me some peace when I cross the finish line.
Besides the superficial goal of taking revenge on my past self I think it’s good for me to set a challenge for myself. This should be something that is attainable, but hard. I’m a very goal-oriented person and it motivates me a lot if I can work towards something. Not having a clear goal is one of the biggest reasons for me to lose interest in something. And setting one that will make me get off the couch and make sure I eat healthy feels like a win-win.
Which brings me to the last and most important reason of why I’m doing this. In recent times, and especially last year, it’s been made very clear to me that your health is not something you can take for granted. After having multiple health crises in my close environment I’ve been contemplating this a lot, especially when I’m on my long runs. I tell myself to enjoy the fact that I can run this far, even though it hurts, because it’s not given that I can do this forever. It motivates me to get in the miles, eat healthy, and to go to bed in time. I embrace the tiredness, the pain, and the boredom. Because one day I can’t anymore.